


desire and

by a_r_b_u_s



Category: Naruto
Genre: Adultery, Anal Sex, But Naruto Does Too, Do I Need To Mention That Kakashi Has Issues, Explicit Sexual Content, Flirting, Hokage!Naruto, Implied Sexual Content, Light BDSM, M/M, Rimming, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-08
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-08-20 15:49:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16558655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_r_b_u_s/pseuds/a_r_b_u_s
Summary: Kakashi knows that what he is doing is wrong, of course. What he doesn’t know is how to stop doing it, and he thinks often now of leaving, a thought he had never before entertained in his life, no matter how hard it had been, no matter how deep the wounds ran.





	1. desire and

**Author's Note:**

> This is a multi-chaptered story in which each chapter deals with different aspects of Kakashi's and Naruto's adulterous relationship. The chapters might end up being only loosely connected, but they are all part of the same universe.

Kakashi knows that what he is doing is wrong, of course. What he doesn’t know is how to stop doing it, and he thinks often now of leaving, a thought he had never before entertained in his life, no matter how hard it had been, no matter how deep the wounds ran.

Kakashi lives for the village. For its people, whom he feels responsible for, still, for all shinobi and all civilians alike. He lives for Sarada’s earnest gaze and Boruto’s sticky hands, for the tiny round-faced newborn that is Himawari, not yet a person at all but precious nonetheless, and then when he becomes old and they grow and run around like his sweet little genin once did, heads in the clouds and uncouth in a way Kakashi himself was never allowed to be, not even as a child, in a way not even his genin had been — it is peace, and peace is good, and still it confuses Kakashi, because all he has ever learned is how to fight.

„You don’t _have_ to go on missions anymore, sensei, ya know. I can take you off the roster.“

Kakashi, sitting with his legs spread to accommodate Naruto’s frame, his back broader than his own and tanned (and how did he do that, sitting in that office all day now) brushes his lips over his neck and hums thoughtfully.

„I’m in the springtime of my youth“, he says finally.

Naruto snorts inelegantly and rolls his eyes.

„Did you just roll your eyes at my declaration of youth?“, Kakashi inquires.

Naruto snorts again.

Kakashi bites down in the sweet curve where Naruto’s shoulder meets his neck, which draws a grunt from him, and then a low moan as he begins to suck a bruise into his skin. Naruto doesn’t like hickeys, because Hinata might see them, and at the thought Kakashi feels guilty and jealous at the same time, a feeling that plummets like a stone into his stomach, and this is one of the reasons he now thinks of leaving so often.

He doesn’t like the feeling.

He doesn’t like that he isn’t doing nothing but feeding it, staking one tiny transgression after another, one mistake after the other onto it until the small fire of his guilt has become a bonfire, but it burns so hot and bright through him and he likes that, even so.

He makes the bruise deep, a stain on the unwritten canvas that is Naruto’s skin, a plain field to start over on again and again and again.

„I mean, you’re not _super old_ , I guess.“

Kakashi knows Naruto is teasing him, is already in his mid-thirties himself and well on his way to his fortieth birthday (and when did that happen where does time go so fast) but wonders even so if Naruto finds him lacking, and if he doesn’t yet, when he will begin to.

He lifts his hand from Naruto’s naked thigh, brushes his soft, sticky cock, earns a sigh, and rubs the tips of his fingers into the line of fine, downy golden hair in Naruto’s neck, then up, scraping his nails over his scalp. Naruto shivers, his body going lax in Kakashi’s arms. He sinks his head back onto Kakashi’s shoulder, eyes closed, exposing the exquisite column of his throat. It draws Kakashi’s gaze, the way his larynx jumps when he swallows, the way the tendons in his neck move almost imperceptibly in that strained position.

„What are you thinking about, sensei?“, Naruto asks, voice rough. He looks at him from beneath his lashes, from the corners of his eyes, and as Kakashi swallows hard, Naruto smirks a bit, an invitation, perhaps.

Kakashi splays his fingers, runs them through short blond hair, past a sweetly curved ear that is darkly tanned at its tip (and he is going to fuck his tongue into that ear later, the way that makes Naruto moan so deeply it always goes straight to Kakashi’s cock), past a whiskered cheek and along the rigid line of his jaw, unclenched for now but how he is grinding his teeth in his sleep makes Kakashi worry, and then he presses the palm of his hand against Naruto’s throat, a hard shove that makes Naruto gag, his body convulse in surprise.

Kakashi’s lips touch Naruto’s temple, a gentle caress that is not quiet yet a kiss, and smiles a bit.

„I’m thinking of fucking you“, he confesses, splays his fingers out on that throat and squeezes lightly. Naruto chokes, moans. Kakashi watches as his spent cock twitches.

„I’d be up for that“, Naruto says, and now his voice is rough for another reason entirely. Kakashi also thinks he’d like to shove his dick down that throat, have him speak in front of his advisors in hoarse whispers and look at Kakashi from his place at the conference table, catching his glance and the ruddiness in his cheeks, from embarrassment and arousal, the way it would make him wanna fuck Kakashi in the repository afterwards.

„Again“, Naruto adds, and his smirk is back, and Kakashi doesn’t know if that’s a demand or not, but it pools heat into his stomach anyway.

„And then“, Kakashi says, his lips brushing the shell of his ear now, a hint of tongue enough to make Naruto shiver in anticipation, „I’d like you to come on my face.“

Naruto makes a surprised little sound, blinks at him, and Kakashi squeezes his throat again, harder this time, and the expression falls from his face, his mouth growing slack as he moans. His hand lifts, hesitates, then grabs his half-hard cock.

„Tsk tsk“, Kakashi clicks his tongue against Naruto’s ear. „What did I tell you about being so impatient, Naruto-kun?“

Another moan, and the smell of Naruto’s arousal is a heady mixture of spice and musk. Kakashi licks his lips, can almost taste it on his tongue already, and perhaps it will be _his_ throat that will get a little abused today, if he can coax Naruto enough, if he can make him a little crazy with want.

Maybe, just maybe, he can make him crazy enough to let the reigns on his power slip just so, and maybe then he would allow himself to give Kakashi what he truly wants, that dark, hungry part of him that never seems to be sated, no matter how strong Naruto’s grip on his arms grow, no matter how much force he uses to hurl him against the next best surface.


	2. all the

Kakashi spends more time away on missions than in the village, and Naruto can’t exactly stop him. He is Hokage, yes, and he could take Kakashi off the roster, could make him retire for earnest, he has that kind of power now. But that’s still a new thought, untried and unfamiliar.

Unfamiliar, of course, are many things that have transpired over the last year and a half, and Naruto has no idea how to fix it, how to undo. For the first time in his life, he thinks he understands what Sasuke must feel, all the time, trying his hardest to redeem himself from the shadows, on his own.

Naruto would like to ask him about how he copes, walking around with the knowledge that his deeds have caused so much damage, have hurt people that were most precious to him. But he can’t quite find the courage, and Naruto thinks its a shame, because if any person on earth understands him, then it’s Sasuke.

Naruto has caused damage before, of course, has caused hurt, too. But it has been unintentional, never like this. He has never gone and done something he knew was wrong, in so many ways, for so many reasons. More than that, he is keeping at it, he doesn’t stop putting his own (twisted?) wants before his family, for heaven’s sake.

Kakashi, of course, is family, too, in that odd, somewhat distant way first and then, _wham_ , acceleration, closeness, and so much of it. Naruto has never known that one’s perception of a person can change so utterly. Kakashi, such an unwavering and steady figure throughout his adolescence, his young adulthood, everything, has turned into a stranger, not in all ways but the ways that matter, and that stranger so appealing, and how can that even be?

Naruto rubs his hand over his face and reddish afterimages bloom in front of his closed eyes, the day around him bright and promising (but maddeningly stuffed with appointments, with things to do and Shikamaru waiting for him to return to the office, clipboard ready and a pen spinning between thumb and forefinger as he recites from a to-do-list that must be cursed because it keeps getting longer, no matter how many items they cross off).

All the times he had wanted to unmask Kakashi, but how was he to know what he would find, the expanse of him vast like a landscape, the depth of his emotions, of his attachment.

He has guessed, of course, intuitively known some of those things he was now coming to know so intimately, like zooming in for a close-up. Now that the mask is down, Naruto can see everything. Every twitch of the nose, quirk of his mouth; every tooth, and wrinkle, and scar; the beauty mark and the pointed chin and that crooked smile that is more often self-deprecating than not. Naruto has kissed those lips, and guided them over his body; they were eager to learn what made him shiver, and moan, and convulse in pleasure and (sometimes) a bit of pain.


	3. sweet pulsing aches

But Kakashi isn’t the only thing on his mind, and Naruto does good to remember himself of that fact; there is a life that waits for him, accommodates around him like he’s the centre of the fucking universe, and yeah, it is easier sometimes to just let things be, not to probe, not to worry himself thin.

The job has worn him down so much already, almost unexpectedly, even after all the preparation. That day after the inauguration, wearing the Hokage’s robes for the first time, wearing the hat for the first time, weighing down on his head from the moment Kakashi had handed it to him, with an eye-crinkling smile and a pat on the back.

So much pride, that day, and the weeks after, so much flouncing around with his feathers ruffled like he was his idiotic twelve-year-old self again. And then, the grind of everyday business, of letters to be drawn up and accounts to be balanced and reports to be checked and double-checked and missions to be filed; the village - hardly a village anymore, Konoha now a city, eating away at its surrounding woods with all those apartment towers Naruto kept budgeting for. Then, the eyes on him, and behind glittering greedy gazes swept away by the newfound consumerism, by blinking advertisements and shining lights and movies and video games and appliances, such high expectations.

And doesn’t it feel good, to be needed in that way, wanted? Of course it does, it’s what Naruto always dreamed of as a child, to be acknowledged, to be part of the community, and those people, old faces and new, they are his family. But it also makes everything so much harder, this unrelenting trust, makes him afraid to take a wrong step, to step at all, and sometimes he becomes all but motionless, swaying in the breeze that is the constant chatter of petitions, of his citizen’s needs, wishes. Naruto kind of waits for the day that breeze turns into a storm and blows him off into the abyss he feels looming, somewhere on his left, or right, and behind him sometimes too.

And then Kakashi bends him over, just like that, spreads his cheeks and makes him forget all thoughts with a lapse of his proficient tongue.

„You’re such a pervert“, Naruto says, sighs, body melting into the mattress on the cherry floor of their abode, with its sliding doors open, inviting the smell of rot and burnt air that is autumn, the vista of a brilliant early afternoon sun through foliage - yellow and red and a bit of green still - and a chill against his heated body.

„If you still think this is perverted, I’ve clearly neglected my quest of corrupting you.“ Kakashi’s breath fans against the tight ring of muscle and his chuckle belies his chiding tone.

„Yeah?“

Kakashi hums, squeezes his ass, then trails his hand down Naruto’s leg until his fingers curl against the tender flesh of his inner thigh. „ … Obviously … we have so much more ground to cover …“

With that promise hanging thickly in the air, vague enough to send Naruto’s mind reeling, Kakashi thrusts his tongue into Naruto, who moans, buries his hands in the sheets for purchase, clenching down on the tongue that fucks him.

Kakashi wraps his beautifully long fingers around his cock, and Naruto realizes that he is achingly hard, again, and Kakashi may not fuck him more than once when they meet up, but he gets him off so many fucking times, in so many fucking ways. And say what you might about Hatake Kakashi, but he’s excellent when he sets his mind to a job, knows just how to touch, how to make Naruto moan, and sometimes how to make him beg. And Naruto can’t help but wonder where he learned that - how his former sensei must have spend his time all those years he has known him, naively thinking he was something of a hermit, sexless and devoid of any private life - up until that point that it turned out he wasn’t either of those things.

Makes a man wonder if the infamous Copy Nin is just as infamous for other things, in particular circles around Fire Country, and Naruto can admit that he likes to think so, yes, this man fucking him six ways to Sunday is an expert on that field, too, has a reputation and earned it. And what he likes most about that idea is that all this knowledge in this long-limbed body, the eloquence of his pale hands and his pale cock, mind you - that is all _his_ now; his to take, his to beg for.

A sharp snap of that bottle of lube Kakashi uses to bring to their meetings, and the tongue is gone, replaced by fingers pushing into him, slicking him up. Naruto’s cock is weeping at this point, he’d really like for Kakashi to get a move on, but then again the man likes to take his sweet time, and Naruto never knows if its out of consideration or because he just likes to tease so much.

Naruto props himself on his elbows and looks over his shoulder. A sight to behold, Kakashi kneeling in front of his raised ass, one hand firm on Naruto’s hip, the other working its fingers into him deep and deeper, with a look like reference on his stupidly pretty face that would steal Naruto’s breath if he weren’t already panting so heavily, gasping for air through the sweet layers of arousal coursing through him.

„You gonna fuck me _again_ , sensei?“, Naruto taunts, and answers Kakashi’s raised eyebrows with a brilliant grin that is all teeth and dare, and reiterates: „That’s _twice_ in just under two hours.“

Kakashi takes both sides of Naruto’s hips in a vice-like grip, shoving him towards his groin, aligning himself.

„It’s reassuring to know you’re able to count, Hokage-sama“, he says, chin raised ever so slightly, looking down on Naruto, who squirms under the intensity of the other’s glare. He doesn’t wait for Naruto to respond, instead thrusts his hips forward, burying himself to the hilt in Naruto’s ass. Naruto cries out, struggles to keep his balance as he is shoved forward again with the force of the thrust, and then fails as Kakashi immediately pulls back out and thrusts back in, taking up an unforgiving pace that has Naruto’s chest and cheek pressed into the mattress. „Not a complaint, though, I take it?“, Kakashi says, cool like fucking anything, and Naruto howls as the head of his cock presses against his prostate again and again.

„N-no“, he gets out, hands white-knuckled and buried in the sheets, drawing them against himself as his body is unable to decide if it wants to get more or get away, but Kakashi’s grip is unrelenting, just like his thrusts as he fucks into him.


End file.
